


False Awakening

by itbeajen



Series: 30 Days with Raha [15]
Category: Final Fantasy XIV
Genre: Angst with a Happy Ending, F/M, Insecurities, Mentions of Death, Nightmares, Reader-Insert, Tumblr: FFXIVwrite2020
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2020-09-15
Updated: 2020-09-15
Packaged: 2021-03-06 21:33:40
Rating: General Audiences
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 1
Words: 1,262
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/26485717
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/itbeajen/pseuds/itbeajen
Summary: It killed you inside sometimes, the fact that you had failed and people have died due to your mistakes.
Relationships: G'raha Tia | Crystal Exarch/Reader, G'raha Tia | Crystal Exarch/Warrior of Light
Series: 30 Days with Raha [15]
Series URL: https://archiveofourown.org/series/1906222
Kudos: 22
Collections: #FFxivWrite2020 Final Fantasy 30 Day Writing Challenge





	False Awakening

**Author's Note:**

> Prompt # for FFXIV Write 2020  
> Ache /eɪk/  
> verb (used without object)  
> to feel great sympathy, pity, or the like

There nights where you would have a restless sleep, where your dreams were tainted and corrupt into nightmares that purposely chose to eat away at you using your insecurities. It was almost like experiencing a moment of Echo, where you could only watch in horror as the memories were stolen from you, twisted and amplified into some grotesque form of it that didn’t even resemble the original anymore.

Unfortunately for you, tonight was one of those nights, and there was no one else home besides you to help you escape from this hellscape.

In this dream, you watched in horror as you saw each of your friends cut down one by one while you stood there helpless and unable to stop it. 

_ Please.  _ You want to call out, to ask them - no, beg them - to stop. They had no reason to target your friends, they were after  _ you _ weren’t they? So why, why would they hurt the innocent people that have barely interacted with you? You reach out for them, in hopes that maybe you could heal their wounds, that maybe you could bring them back to life. But as your fingertips touch their body, you can practically feel the aether that made up their source and soul dissipate, and they dissipated far too quickly for you to save them.

_ Please! _ Your feet almost felt like they weren’t your own as you desperately struggled to move forward. Each foot felt like they were cemented in concrete, effectively making it even harder for you to move than you would have thought. You hated how useless you felt, and even more so knowing that you were completely useless during such a critical moment.

You could hear the screams of anguish and as people around you begged to be forgiven, to be spared, and to be saved.  _ Save them! Save them!  _ You desperately tried to make your way towards them, but your legs were cemented, and your body felt like it was suspended in sludge that was slowly solidifying each time you tried to move. 

_ Please, I… I just want to save them, please, don’t-  _ Your eyes widened when you see the familiar flash of blinding blue light that flew right past you, only to pierce through someone else. The familiar ice blue hair and the soft smile on his face as he thanks the world for the fact that you are safe - it sickens you.

You despise your inability to save those dear to you, and you can only silently scream at the sight of the gaping hole in his chest where the light had pierced through him.

_ Please.  _ You closed your eyes desperately, but you knew you couldn’t awaken from this nightmare no matter how much you tried.  _ Please, please wake me up. I don’t want to relive this anymore. I already  _ _ know _ _ that I failed. I wasn’t good enough, I should’ve tried harder, done better. I just- _

There is a suffocating ache in your chest as you felt the wind get knocked out of your lungs. There was an unknown grip on your neck and you wanted to scream, yet you know there would be nothing but the gasping wheezes for sweet air that was just out of reach for you as it tightens around your throat.

_ No, I just.. Wanted to… save- _

“[-me]!”

_ I just wanted to save them. All the ones that I failed… _

“[-me]! [Name], wake up!”

The voice was faint and so very muffled, yet you felt compelled to listen.

“[Name],” G’raha gently called out for you. When he had gotten home, all he could hear were small whimpers of pain coming from you when he finished showering. He was shocked by the sudden change in your demeanor though. You were sound asleep when he got home, yet now you were thrashing around the bed, your arms wrapped around yourself while whimpering for help. 

His eyebrows furrowed seeing you in distress, and he gently shook you a bit harder, “[Name], wake up love, please, it’s a nightmare.” 

He knew for a fact that you’ve had nightmares like this before. He had experienced it first hand when you had unintentionally kicked his calves while you were tossing and turning in bed. He knew just how much your past mistakes haunted you, and he knew that sometimes your nightmares were so vivid and lucid that you couldn’t focus on anything outside of them.

_ Raha. _ The haze that seemed to swallow you whole seemed to slowly lift and you looked around you. It was just… darkness, and empty. There were no dead bodies of your fellow Scions. Those innocent children and civilians that you came to know in passing weren’t splayed out on the floor with body parts missing and blood spilling out. The screams and wails of the tormented had stopped and it was just silence.

“Ra… ha?” you softly called out, and while in your nightmare, there was nothing but darkness, you could still hear his voice; soft, caring, and loving. 

“I’m right here, [Name]. You’re okay now,” he softly said as he brought you into his arms. Your eyes slowly fluttered open and you grasped at him desperately. You needed to feel him against you, you needed to know that he was actually, truly, here with you and it wasn’t just your nightmares giving form to him only to take him away too. 

“Raha, I-” your voice cracked and it was hoarse. Were you screaming in real life too? You weren’t sure, but it felt like you might have been considering how dry it felt. Your hands clung onto him and he softly whispered, “I’m right here. You’re okay now.”

You feel him gently press his lips against the side of your head and he continued, “You don’t have to talk about it if it hurts you again, but I will be here. I will be here as long as you need me, and I promise you I will not leave you otherwise.”

It was so safe, so warm in his arms. It was a stark contrast against the cold bodies that you couldn’t even bear to touch and look at earlier. The tension within you slowly went away as you focused solely on the sound of his heart beat and his warmth around you.

G’raha doesn’t know how long he holds you for, but he knows that perhaps the safety of knowing that there was someone else here for you was all you truly needed to properly sleep. Your grip on his shirt loosens and your breathing evens out as you fall back to sleep peacefully. He slowly lowers you on to the bed, making sure not to make any sudden movements that may wake you again. 

Once he’s successfully laid you down, he slips into bed by your side, and tucks both of you in. His tail lightly swishes over your waist, and he gets as close as he possibly could to you without waking you. It pained him, and his heart ached for how pale and distraught you were earlier. But seeing you now, peacefully sound asleep with almost no care in the world, he couldn’t stop himself from carefully pulling you to his side as he held you closely. 

He may not have been here earlier, but he swears it upon his life that he’ll keep you safe from the nightmares in your dreams and in real life. For all he wants is for you to keep smiling, while experiencing every single bit of happiness and joy that the world has to offer you. 

**Author's Note:**

> Title is actually taken from an actual sleep experience where there is a strange experience of “waking up” when you actually remain asleep. It can involve vivid, realistic images that leave you feeling anxious and confused. :3 learn something new everyday don't cha?


End file.
